Going from Merely Existing to Truly Living

by Idalida Luna

It is a wonderful feeling for me to write this article, with the knowledge that this topic is a request from one of our girls. It makes me more aware of how best to point to suggestions that are relevant to each one of you.

How can we best state the difference between existing and living? I will refer to the Bible where I think we find the best definition. In John 10:10 Jesus it talking to his listeners and he says: “My purpose is to give you life in all its fullness” therefore we can define living as a life lived in all its fullness.

Our topic for October is “How to change our life from existing to living”. Let us first explore why we choose to exist instead of live? Many times it has to do with our perception that the place or the circumstances we are in right now are not the best ones for us. We may find ourselves in a far away land because that is what our spouse wants; therefore in the back of our mind we decide that since we cannot be completely happy with our current situation, at least we will go through those months or years hoping they will end soon. We accept that those cannot be good times, and switch our goals to just surviving. We can adapt to this pattern of thinking even when we are not completely aware of our inner thoughts and feelings.

Therefore our challenge is first to analyze ourselves and to see if I have chosen to merely exist.  If that is your case, do not dismay you can learn how to switch from existing to living life in all its fullness.

After looking for literature on this topic I was surprised to find a website article, that in my opinion is well rounded, therefore I am adapting the ideas I found therein for you, 15 Ways to live, and Not Merely Exist by Mark Hack, so here we go:

Embrace change and enjoy your life as it unfolds. – The hardest part about working overseas is the longing feeling that we would rather be somewhere else, often close to our family and friends, in a familiar environment where we understand each one around us. But in order to live we must embrace change and choose to live in the moment, and enjoy your life as it unfolds. Looking for new ideas, new ways of living that may benefit us.

Appreciate the great people and things in your life. – Sometimes we are so focused on what we are missing that we fail to notice the great people who are around us and the things that help us grow in a positive way with much understanding of the new culture and society around us. A learning attitude will always help us to appreciate others.

Enjoy the little things in life. – The best things in life are free. Thank God for that! We can find joy in the simplest of moments. Watching the sunset over the horizon or playing with a puppy (even when is not our own), walking in nature or spending some time chatting with a family member or a close friend; thank God for the internet, Skype, etc.

Choose your relationships wisely. – When you find yourself in a new culture, a completely new environment, you must choose your friends very carefully, because you will spend good times and not so good times together with those new friends. Relationships must be chosen wisely. Don’t rush. Wait until you truly find a good one. Don’t let loneliness drive you back into a rushed friendship you will regret later.  Great relationships will give you the feeling of connection you need to feel that you’re are living and not merely existing in your new environment.

Ignore other people’s negativity. – Wherever you are you will always meet people who are negative and spend most of their time criticizing everyone and everything around them. You do not have control over what others say; but you do have control over whether or not you allow them to invade your heart and mind. First accept the fact that those type of people will always be around, then, accept them as they are but firmly choose not to be influenced by their negativity.

Forgive those who have hurt you. – We wrongly think that forgiveness is a benefit we give to the wrongdoers or the ones we perceive have harmed us in some way. But the reality of forgiveness it that as we forgive, we are freeing ourselves of the painful thoughts of injustice and mistreatment that will invade our mind, if we choose not to forgive people. 

The first to apologize is the bravest.

The first to forgive is the strongest.

The first to move forward is the happiest.

Be brave. Be strong. Be happy. Be free.

Be who you really are. – As you walk through life you will often find that significant people in your life have already chosen a pattern of actions you should follow in order to be accepted by them. This feeling deepens when you find yourself in a new environment; therefore as you choose to respect the culture you are in now, keep being who you really are. Act according to your highest values, your highest principles because doing this will make you firmly feel that you are living correctly.

Recognize those who love you. – The most memorable people in your life will be the ones who loved you dearly, even when you weren’t very loveable. Express your love to those family members and your best friends, use any form of communication that will work best for you and express your love for them.

Love yourself too. – If you can love children, in spite of the messes they make; your mother, in spite of her tendency to nag; your father, even though he’s too opinionated; your sibling, even though she’s always late; your friend, even though he often forgets to return what he borrows, then you know how to love imperfect people, and can surely love yourself.

Do things your future self will thank you for. – What you do every day matters more than what you do every once in a while. What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it. Make sure it’s worthwhile. Make sure what you do today will provide a better future for yourself, your health, your economy, so tomorrow you will have better opportunities for what you do today, decide to exercise, to save, to learn, to forgive.

Be thankful for all the troubles you don’t have. –One of the best ways to switch your depressed mood to a happier one is to be thankful for all the problems you do not have. Just start a mental list with: “I have two legs” (many people in this world do not have this privilege), I don’t have a brain tumor, a sick child, humongous debt, a failed test…. Happiness comes when we stop complaining about the troubles we have and offer thanks for all the troubles we don’t have.

Leave enough time for fun. –Never let your life become so filled with work, your mind become so crammed with worry, or your heart become so jammed with old hurts or anger, that there’s no room left in them for fun, for awe, or for joy. Make a conscious effort to plan to have fun, if you are on a budget, make a list of the 5 most enjoyable things you can do to have pure simple fun without costing you a fortune.

Accept the fact that the past is not today. – Don’t let the past steal your present and future from you. The past is not today. The past cannot be changed, forgotten, or erased. If your past was a very positive time, be glad for that, and keep it in the back of your memory as happy times. If your past was somehow negative, remember we all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.

Let go when you must. – In life there are many things we cannot change, no matter how hard we try. It’s not always about trying to fix something that’s broken. Some relationships and situations just can’t be fixed. Decide to let it go, when it’s time to let go. Decide to start over and create something better. Strength shows not only in the ability to persist, but in the ability to start over again with a smile on your face and passion in your heart.

See the whole picture on a daily basis. - Even when we live in this world there is something greater than our own self, our own thoughts, feelings, and our own needs. We are part of a plan, where God has chosen us to be a blessing to His other children. Try to picture it every day in your life, so whatever is happening today, you still can be a blessing to someone. Look for that opportunity each day, because living a life with a purpose and the joy of giving will fill your heart. And as you become God’s blessing to someone, you will suddenly realize that you are not just existing, but you are really living.

As with Abraham in the past, (Genesis 12: 1, 2) “You have been called by God, to leave your country, your relatives, and the home of your parents. But God promises that He will bless you and will make you a blessing to others”

May each day of your lives be a life lived in all its fullness.