Dealing with Emotions

By Idalida Luna 

Every human being is born with an emotional component in life. We call it our emotions. Therefore before we address the topic on how to deal with our emotions we need to find a definition of emotions:

The Oxford Dictionary defines emotions as a strong feeling deriving from one’s circumstances, mood, or relationships with others.

“Emotions are human beings’ warning systems as to what is really going on around them. Emotions are our most reliable indicators of how things are going in our lives. Therefore our emotions inform us of what is really going on.

In the field of Psychology emotions refer to a feeling state involving thought, physiological changes, and an outward expression or behavior.

How we think and feel can affect our emotional, mental and physical health. Learning to manage our anger, change our outlook on life, or address psychological issues can help keep our mind active and healthy.

Dealing with our emotions means we need to face, accept and work through them. We will always have emotions, so we have to learn to deal with them. If repressed, they will find a way to come out in other ways such as in depression, anxieties, panic, or eating disorders to name but a few.

David in his book “Your Brain at Work” states that there are only 3 approaches to emotions, you only have 3 choices once emotions kick in: you can express your emotions, suppress your emotions or transform your emotions. Here’s how:

1. Expressing emotions

This is what kids will usually do. If they’re upset or frightened, they cry. If they’re happy, they laugh and run around. We usually call it being genuine and the expression of emotions helps us face life in a more comfortable manner and move on. For sure as adults we are aware that there are some situations when this option is not socially acceptable, or is only partially available.

2. Suppressing emotions

This is an attempt to keep emotions from being visible to others. This is the strategy that many people use, especially when they interpreted their emotions as negative ones. As we suppress our emotions we are affirming that emotions are negative elements we should keep at bay and that it is socially unacceptable to express our emotions.

Trying not to feel something is ineffective and can be harmful. Suppressing strong emotions affects even the physical health of many, especially if the emotions have been suppressed for a long time or are currently being suppressed. Suppression of emotions will even influence what you are able to pay attention to and therefore what you remember.

3. Transforming emotions

Rock calls this cognitive change. “Even after you have gotten yourself into a bad situation, you can still, at this late stage, think about it differently”. There are two ways you can transform emotions:

(a) Labeling — putting a label on the emotion or giving a name to the emotion. Once we label an emotion it will be easier to let it go. If you are growing increasingly upset with how things are turning, so you pause and acknowledge that you are feeling upset, you are acknowledging that you are upset and will make it easier to face that reality and/or let it go.

(b) Re-framing — putting a different interpretation onto the same set of circumstances (or “facts”). How you see, label, sort and ‘file’ the event makes all the difference in the world. To be able to choose how you feel about it and how it affects you is always liberating, because the power rests in your mind. You can choose how you will experience the emotion and more importantly how you can transform that emotion into your own learning experience or to your own benefit.

Remember that re-framing painful events takes effort and will even need power from above to re-frame it. Forgiveness plays a strong role when we deal with painful emotions especially the ones that need re-editing. Re-framing may take time and a lot of energy but is worth it because it is a liberating experience. Re-framing includes a reality check too to try to view our emotions from someone else’s perspective. There are times our emotions may confuse us because we see them only through our own perspective. We need to put on another frame in order to see clearly.

What’s your choice?

Emotions are a part of what make life rich and fascinating. They are also part of what makes life challenging at times especially when we are confronted with negative emotions. Those negative emotions may be provoked by external situations or relationships, but with the power of God acting through the Holy Spirit we can choose to change it. Colossians chapter 3 is full of advice about how to transform negative emotions into positive ones by re-framing our position in this earth

8. Now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior….

10 Clothe yourself with a brand new nature that is continually being renewed as you learn more and more about Christ.

13. Make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive the person who offends you.

15. Let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts

As we deal with emotions day after day, may the love of God guide us to face, accept and do the best with our emotions so they can be a blessing to us and to each person we come in contact with.