Conflict Between Missionaries - Why Can't We All just Get Along?

Conflict between missionaries tops the list of concerns most troubling to global Christian workers. As one missionary told us

            "The conflicts we face that are most disturbing are not conflicts with the people we are trying to reach
            for Christ. It’s the conflicts we have with other missionaries that are causing us the most distress."

Few issues are more destructive to advancing the cause of Christ than conflict between missionaries. Even those who seem not to be part of the conflict are drawn into it because conflict has the insidious effect of making us choose sides between those involved. And we’re usually not even aware of it.

One Christian worker who asked us for help in dealing with a conflict between missionaries commented, People on our team are not getting along with each other. There’s tension between us, and the nationals see and feel it... It’s really hard here. It’s pretty bad when the nationals see and feel it too. Why can’t we all just get along? James 4:1-3 tells us why:

              What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within  
            you? You want something but don’t get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want.    
            You quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not    
            receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your
            pleasures.

“Desires that battle within” are at the root of it all. Does this mean we should stop desiring? Not at all. The problem isn’t desire, it’s the battle. Our desires impact our relationships, but when they battle within us, conflict between missionaries occurs. Many desires are sinful, and I don’t need to give you a list. We know them all too well. These desires are things we should flee from.

But there are also desires that are very good and God-given that affect our relationships, too. The desire to provide for our family. The desire to nurture our children. The desire to learn, grow, and improve ourselves. All good things.

Desires, sinful or otherwise, become battles when they become too important to us. And when our desires, even the good ones, become too important they become our idols.

One principal we see play out over and over again is that which troubles us the most usually reveals the idols in our lives.

So the next time we're involved with conflict between missionaries, it’s very helpful to ask ourselves,

            Why might the issue surrounding the conflict be so important to the people involved? Has it    
            become an idol in their lives? And if so, what needs are people trying to meet with this idol?

And more importantly, a question we need to ask ourselves is

            Has what I’ve been in conflict about become too important to me? Is it an idol in my life? And if it    
            is, what is the un-met need in my life? And how could I get that need meet in a better way?

Hmmn. What an interesting connection that ties conflict between missionaries to breaking the first commandment to have no idols. May we all repent as appropriate.

Original post http://www.missionary-care.org/conflict.html